Stop being perfect, so you can start being perfect

A place for everything, and everything in its place. This phrase, or a version of it, has been echoed for decades, and probably through the millennia. It’s the neat freaks mantra, and the eclectic’s nightmare. But, even people that aren’t coo-coo for clean up, still tend to have a way they prefer life to be. We all have a construct in our minds that we’ve been building since birth that dictates exactly how we want our world to run, and while there are definitely unhealthy behaviors the can be destructive, our preferences of how things should happen and how life should be lived, aren’t necessarily wrong. They’re simply our opinions and our preferences.

The problem with parenting, is that your kids very likely have a different opinion of how life should be. The power struggle with toddlers and teenagers alike is about as real as it gets. As parents, we all too often fight for our preference of how things should be, instead of preserving and pursuing what’s best for our families; what is best for our relationship with our kids. Structure is important for our kids, but we have to ask ourselves if our structure is best for our kids.

Here’s my confession: I want my household to run exactly the way I want it. You may be thinking that’s a loose usage of the word exactly, or some sort of Idiom… but it’s not. When I say exactly, I mean exactly.

Now I can, logically admit, that my way of doing things cannot possible be the best, most efficient, or even most productive way of living life all the time… but apparently my logic and my lifestyle don’t like to hold hands and play nice.

I’m the weirdo that rearranges the dishwasher, rotates the toothpaste and toothbrush to be parallel, and has a color coordinated closet. So what if it's ridiculous. It’s a great way to live. But it’s a tough way to live with kids. If you’re not carful, You can end up fighting with your kids, instead of fighting for your kids. We can tragically let our love for our structure, outweigh the love we show our kids.

On a school night not too long ago, dinner ran late, so bath time ran late, and the bedtime routine was running painfully late… 23 minutes late to be exact! When my wife Summer suggested we bundle up the kids in blankets, and take them outside to enjoy the cool crisp air on a perfect starry night… you can probably imagine what my (internal) initial answer was. Thankfully, in better judgement, I stepped back and followed my wife’s lead, and It turned out to be an incredible memory making moment for the whole family as we laughed and played around the fire pit. When I finally let go of my “perfect way,” I ended up in the perfect situation to be what my kids needed: not their schedule keeper, but their Dad. And I ended up with a memory I’ll cherish for a long time. Let the schedule go. Fight for your kids, not against them.